65. Cultivating Unbroken "Comes Out" of Our Perceptions "Micheal Unbroken" w/ Favazza

What was the difficult part when you started to negotiate this character, when you came in contact with people you known in your past, as you were changing your identity.

And then that, that is the question, right? Like that's phenomenal. Look, here's the reality. And one of my mentors taught me this and it, and it really hits rings. True. Like to get what you want in life. You're going to have to give somebody. You're going to have to, and a lot of times it's the people and that's not to say those people don't bring value to you. That's not to say you don't love those people or cherish those people, but you know, if you want to change the world, you're not going to do it a happy. hour You know what I'm saying? Like, like th the truth about it is, you know, I just think we remember these pivotal turning points in my life. You know, I'm, I'm going to go into sobriety. I'm going to go into celibacy. I'm going to stop going to a club on Friday nights. I'm going to stop being party guy, you know, and just wash people dwindle away.

How can you create a transformation and others, if there's no transformation in yourself, join your host, Greg Favazza, as your voice on the hard truth, some leadership, your transformation station, connecting clarity to the cutting edge of leadership as millennial. We can establish chain, not only ourselves, but through organizational change, bringing transparency that goes beyond the organization and reflects back into ourselves extract, actionable advice and alternative perspectives that will take you outside of yourself.

Michael unbroken. Welcome to your transformation station.

Amen. And it was my pleasure. Thank you for, uh, for your time and for being here with me.

Excellent. No, I thank you. So you have a lot of history. I would love if you could illustrate everything that you gone through. While I sit here with an open mind. I got no questions in front of me. I'm right now I resignate with your history. So I just want it to be completely authentic is I could be for this conversation.

Yeah, totally. Um, you know, so background, um, you know, I grew up in Indianapolis, my, my mother was a drug addict and alcoholic when I was four years old, she actually cut off my right index finger. And so, you know, that kind of gives you framework and, you know, people, what cutoff reaction and cut off. Yeah. And that's, uh, and you know, and that's very much a, um, you know, that's a repeat of trauma, right? That's that's this generational trauma thing playing itself out again and again, and now I understand that obviously when I was a kid, I didn't write very different experience. Anyway, wait, hold on.

She cut off your finger.

Yeah.

For what a sell it to get some, they get some drugs. I don't understand what the fuck what happened.

I, well, I don't understand either. So your guess is as good as mine. Um, you know, it's, it's part of, uh, you know, as part of the human experience, I think unfortunately, bad things happen to us. Um, and you know, trauma begets true. Right. This is a continuation of, uh, a lot of bad things that I'm sure happened to her. Um, well, actually that I know happened to her, you know, unfortunately whether it was an accident or on purpose or whatever, the motive may have been, that happened. And I was, uh, you know, I was four years old, so I, um, I don't have a recollection of that moment, that experience. Um, and part of me is like, I'm happy that. Right. You know, I, I remember lots of stuff in my experience, but not that particularly. So, you know, it's something that over the course of my life, I went back, I'd actually tried. Um, medical records. Um, I guess I was probably about five years ago. I was like, you know what, let me get some medical records. Let me dive into this. And they had been expunged. So it turns out that most hospitals, you know, like, again, I'm almost 40 years old, like they didn't keep. They don't digitize a lot of that stuff. Like seven

years, they usually keep the records in like a warehouse or something. You sound like you've been through a lot of therapy because one the way you're looking back and reflecting on your, your childhood, uh, social upbringing, you, you look at. Through your adult mindset, but you also understand how your younger self was viewing things. And now you're articulating how things were, things are now and be able to distinguish what you were thinking back then, but also what you are thinking now, does that make sense?

Yeah, well, I mean, look, if you want to create massive change in your life, you're going to have to do that. They're going to have to go through the healing process. You're going to have to go through the learning process. I think a big part of this is around the education, right? Creating an understanding about the frameworks and kind of what. The ramifications of traumatic experiences impact you. And I think far, far too often, and this was my experience for a long time. You, I sat with it. I, I played the victim role. I blamed other people. I said, you know, this is your fault. This is their fault. Whomever. And my life was a disaster at different periods of time. And so today, you know, Different. And the reason why is from doing that work and it wasn't just therapy. I think therapy is a great precursor. Um, but also it can leave you short, right? I, I don't think therapy is about the tools to go to what's next. And so a big part of that for me, was in personal development, it was in learning. It was in, you know, going into the conferences, reading the books and creating this gigantic transformation in my. Bye bye. Really just looking at life from the aspect of, you know, I believe that we are all capable of, regardless of what we come from, you know, living life that we want to live. And so that was a long time. Let me ask

you this all right. With age, is there a certain point in time? That's around when you stop playing the victim card and you started understanding the impacts on your actions and on your thoughts, how that impacts you, because everything is outside yourself. You're creating the

trauma. You're, you're

creating all of that because you're hold on, you're holding onto it. When did that happen? When did that transition occur?

Yeah. You know, I think it was always kind of happening, right. Because if I go and look at it as myself as a child, I was always trying just to get to be an adult. Like I remember the only thing I ever wanted to do as a kid. I was like, I just want to be a grownup. I don't want to be a firefighter or an astronaut. I didn't want that. I just wanted to be a grownup. Cause I was like, well, when I'm a grownup, nobody will tell me what to do. And I'll be. Live life, how I want to live my life. And the thing that happened in that was by the time I was a grownup, yes, I was living my life. But through the wrong view, right. Perspectives, everything, I was, I was financially secure. I was working for a fortune 10 company, but man, I was 350 pounds smoking two packs of cigarettes a day, drinking myself to sleep. And that was not in alignment with the life that I wanted to have. So, you know, I'm 26, 25, 26 years old. And I'm just thinking to myself, like. What is next and I'll never forget this. It was laying in. It's 11 o'clock in the morning. Again, I'm 350 pounds. I'm eating chocolate cakes, smoking a joint and watching the CrossFit games. And I'm just like, man, if that's not rock bottom, I don't know what it is. And I went into the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror and. I just asked myself, like, what are you willing to do to have the life that you want to have? And the words, no excuses just resolved just really started reverberating in me. And that was really about stop negotiating with yourself. Stop making excuses for yourself. Stop getting in your own damn way, because I was great at being a victim. Right. I was great at blaming the world and it's a lot more difficult. And this isn't about culpability. Like, let's keep it real. Like I'm not sitting here saying it's my fault because I had a terrible childhood. But the choices and the decisions that I made, those were all ramification of, of those experiences. And I had to take ownership over them. It led to you being

overweight. It led you to be sitting on your ass, smoke and fucking weed, and wa and doing, watching TV. What I, I feel like there's more to that story because when we look at change and actually how that occurs, if we're really open that up, it is based off of usually an impact, an issue, something extreme that occurs in that moment that will realign you into a new direction. So is there anything else in that story you haven't told me?

Yeah, well, look, of course, there's always more, right. I mean, you're talking about 26 years of experiences leading up to that moment. You're talking about the murder of my free childhood best friends. You're talking about my uncle being in prison for life. You're talking about me not graduating high school. You're talking about. Running the streets and getting high since I was 12 years old, I mean, it was, it's an avalanche of things that lead up to change. I think like, I, I don't know anyone who's had one singular experience in their life and everything changes. Like there was a lead up, there was all the times that you drunk and drove Matt, you didn't get caught. Right. You know what I'm saying? And, and, and, and ultimately that's what it was. It was me. I was just tired of my own bowl. I was tired of my own bullshit. And, and I, I got in my, I got my own face and I was aggressive about it. I said, change, fucking do something about this. And in that, and look, even in that, even in that moment, that was still this, um, in that it was a process. Agreeing that it was a journey even today. It still was right. I'm 11 years into this. Right. I've spoken around the world, I've got bestselling book. I got a bestseller that, you know, top listened to podcasts, blah, blah, blah, all the shit. I'm always still doing the work. Right. And that sort of thing, like this is what I always try to teach people. Like, I don't know that you ever stopped. Trying to become the person you want to be now. So, you know, it's baby steps every single day, and I'm still learning. I'm still fucking up. I'm still impacting the world. Like it all comes together. So what are you

sharing those fuck ups. Are you sharing that out loud? Not just with yourself, but with every year peer group, everybody, everybody you contact you are you embracing your vulnerabilities as your authentic self?

Yeah, of course look, I mean, here's the reality. Like you can't be a leader if you won't talk about the truth. I mean, people you'll listen to my podcasts. They read the books. The truth is there, it's this conversation right now, right? It's this is where it exists. This is where it lives. You know, I tell people all the time, failure failures, my best friend, like I fuck up all the time because I use that information as David. And, and that's the reality, whether it's in running businesses or coaching or writing or a podcast, like whatever. I do know, like I'm always just trying to be uncomfortable in it because when you're willing to be uncomfortable, you grow, you learn about who you are. And the truth is there are a lot of people who just, they show you the sunny side. They don't talk about the pain, the anxiety though, the heartbreaks, the failures in business and leadership. And, and I use those all as. There are tools and that's fantastic

because you're on transform your transformation station. And that's what we're going to talk about. So we're going to transition into a question that I just came into mind. How do you communicate with someone? Let's say you're a leader at a workplace and environment. You have this trauma, you know, everything about it. You can't stand the look at it, but you can understand it from a mile away when you're trying to relate something to an employee or a. They have a different trauma because it's subjective or they'd have an experience. Something not as deep as what you went through, how do you convey something that's authentic, but can still inspire them?

Yeah. Look, I mean, at the end of the day, we're all having a human experience. Right. And I'm not greater than, or less than anyone. I look at everyone as a person. Looking at everyone as being on the same plane as me. And in that, one of the things that's been incredibly beneficial because here's the truth. I've been leading teams since I was 18 years old, you know, I had 52 people under me working in a fast food restaurant when I was a baby, basically. You know what I mean? And I've, I've, I've had a hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people under me up to today and the number one thing, and I've learned. I've made every mistake. Let me be very clear about that in leadership and in business. But the, the one thing that I always try to do when I'm conveying and I'm having these conversations with, with people in the workplace is it's not about. That's first and foremost, it's not about me because that's not my job as a leader. My job as a leader is to help our team complete the mission. And when you let your ego interject in that, and it's not that I don't have one, but when it's about being right, as opposed to accomplishing the goal, you're going to lose every single time. Right. And so my thing is like, I want to empower people. I'm my, if you work for me, you have to do personal. You have to, it's a requirement, it's a prerequisite, right? You have to go through this process of learning, of growing of understanding different concepts of learning different tools. Because the biggest thing that I ever wanted to do as a leader is I want to put you in a position to be successful in your life. And so then how does, and you manage a team?

Yes. How do you manage a team? Tell me about that. That's what I want to know. If they, they, everybody has a different. So, what can you do to tailor your understanding of trauma to deliver the most impactful leadership you can on your team? What can you do?

I shut up and listen. Tell me more than that. No, that's literally yet people need to be heard. People need to be seen. They need to be felt and understood and, and know that when they come to the table with something, even if it's something vulnerable and I have employees that share stuff with me, they definitely don't share with their therapist. You know what I mean? And, and that's fine. And I don't negate that from them. I just always remind them, Hey, think about the context of what you're bringing into the work environment right now. Like how does this, how does a service. What do you need from this? Is this impacting your life in a way that is negatively affecting your performance? Is it something where you need time off? Do you need a few days? Do you, do you need us to help cover something for like, what is going on? Right. And I sit there and I shut up and I listen, I can't solve problems, but I don't have the details. And people are always so quick. And I think men in particular, we're always like, let's fix it, let's fix it. And I'm just like, tell me what's going on. Because I can't solve a problem if I don't have a full understanding of it. When you said

men in particular, are you re referring to some sort of scientific study?

No, I think it's just, I mean, you hear it in passing common knowledge, men natively. We want to fix things. Is there a study? I'm sure there are studies on it. I have. Okay.

So just want to make sure that you weren't pulling something, but agreed. You know, I mean, naturally if we, I read quite a few books of relationship books, I mean, men want to naturally fix things. Women want to be heard. Yes. Agreed. But with organizational leadership, with millennial population being the majority today, they are now occupying management positions. What is one tip of advice? That you could give them that will help them be themselves.

Yeah, that's too. That's such a good question. Well, here's what it starts with. When you walk into the interview be you don't play Cate people. Don't bend who you are. Don't be anything other than you, because I'll tell you what's going to happen. This happens all the time and people blame the work. They blame the boss. They blame the company. They blame the corporation about fit. They go it's their fault. I don't fit in no, it's your fault because you're the person who came into the interview off the bat and you placated who you are so that you can get an employment. Whereas the reality is if you were just you, you might've got the job in. Don't bend who you are to fit into a mold because I promise you on a long enough timeline, you're going to be miserable. That was a may for a long time. I worked a corporate job, worked for a fortune 10 company. When I was one, two years old. I've bent who I was. I hated it. I was miserable for six years. Right. And that, that's the number. One thing I can tell people is when you start to put yourself in this position, I want to go in and make impact on the world if you hate, like the people who hate Mondays, right? Oh my God. The people that are working for the weekend, the reason why is because they're miserable because from the jump they put themselves in a position to not be successful.

There you go. Now this is authentic. I like that. I can just see the low in your face when you just for six years. It's that's. I like that, that, that is real experience with understanding who you are. Tell the audience, what can they do in their downtime as an action item to bring transparency and being authentic?

Yeah. Look, I think self-awareness is everything right? If you don't know who you are, if you don't know your values, your mission, your vision, your, your north star, what it is that you want to do with your life start. Get and get, get clear, get a really foundational baseline understanding of what it is that you want to create in your life. Why you want to create it, how you create it and start moving towards it. You know, if you're living life without values, this is, and this was me for a very long time. I remember the first time I heard somebody say the word values. I was like dumb thousand. What does that mean value you? And it's the old adage. If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything. And so start thinking about what represents you as a human being. I walk into rooms and I ask people, you know, raise your hand. If you know your values, 5%, 7% of them raise your. Right. You gotta get clear. You have to understand who you are because that becomes a great system for filtering your decision making in your life. Right? My values are honesty, kindness, leadership self-actualization and no excuses. That's how I live my life. That doesn't mean I don't fucking falter. I'm a human being, of course I do, but I do my best to funnel my, my experience through that. And that in turn helps me understand the commitments that I make, helps me understand the goals that I'm moving towards and helps me ultimately create the life that I want to have you, and, and look at the end of the day, like, I think this is the thing that people have to understand probably more so than anything if you're happy and you're content great. Um, great. But if you're miserable and you're blaming the world, you got to do something about it. And it really starts with taking a hard look at your life and what you're doing. Exactly. Look

in the fucking mirror and the basher face into it because one, you don't like what you fucking see. You have to fix yourself by starting from within purging it and then transforming your outside. Now, let me ask you this. Okay. I love, I liked your values. Great. When you're trying to convey yourself, you, you have emotion behind your words. You and I are very similar. I like that. How can you convey your message through an email, through a text? Um,

It's contextual first and foremost, it is. Um, I, I think it's really important to have real conversations face to face is optimal. Right. Um, if not video is better in a virtual world, so it's difficult. Yeah, we are. And we're going to go in the metaverse here soon too. So we'll see what happens there. Um, but ultimately, you know, I think a lot, a lot gets lost in translation. A lot of the, a lot of the bigger mistakes I've made in my life for text messages. Great right. Text messages. I shouldn't know. Right. The phone calls that should have been had. And, and there's a part of that, where you go, ah, whatever. But, but the other part of it, I think, is new. If you want someone to understand your message, great example, I'll give you a perfect example of this. A couple months ago, I posted something on, on Instagram and I got thousands and thousands of people there. And they were, they were mad at me because of the context in which I posted, what I was trying to convey did not come through in the words, uh, miscommunication. Yes. Right. And that made me sit and pause and realize and go, wait a second. If I'm going to write something, even though I believe it to be of a certain way, is that actually conveyed in the way that other people are interpreting it? Because miscommunication, I think is ultimately one of the worst things that happens in any aspect of life. Going to know I was thinking about it this way, but you must interpreted that way. Whose fault is that that's my fault. Right? And so that really made me step back and go, how am I using my words? Words, have power, make sure that you're paying attention to the way that you put words into the world. Because for me, I can say, stop being fucking lazy, get off your ass, take care of yourself, do the hard work. And somebody else hears that and they feel inundated. They go, oh my God, the guy's attacking. Nothing I ever opposed like on food, like no bullshit, nothing I ever posted is anything. I would not say to myself, nothing I ever write about nothing ever talk about nothing ever podcast about as anything less than what I would say to me first. Agreed. But I understand that other people do not understand. And we live on cancel culture, like obviously, right. And, and like, I don't think you'd get canceled unless you choose to be. And I certainly am not saying that that's in store for me, but you can hurt people's feelings. So let's go into

yes. Perception. All right. You know, you're right. You know it because you've lived it, breathed it and understand it, but there is always two sides to a story there's tact on delivering a message. What tack did you use to correct yourself from that hiccup and what is something that you can convey to our listeners to start implementing? The the message or the action item that you did to correct

yourself? Yeah. I think the biggest thing in that moment is I just looked at it and I asked myself this question. If I was in a position where I was 10 years ago, 12 years ago, 20 years ago. And I read this, how would I have felt. Because ultimately what I'm about, I'm about service. I'm about bringing value to people's life, about teaching them what I've learned, what I understand, what I have overcome in a way that is practical for them to take it with them and influence and create massive change and transformation in their life. And so I looked at that and I said, that's not the way to do it. Talking at someone and talking to someone are not the same. And so I had to take a step back and I said, do you know what course correct. When I filter things through posting, now I'm going to sleep.'cause guess what I thought I got to. And so now I'm going to sleep on it. I'm going to come back. I'm going to look at it tomorrow and go. Is this still the way that I believe that this needs to convey to be conveyed? If yes, I'm putting it into the world. If no, let me course correct. And rewrite it. Let me re publish it. Let me go back through this due diligence. Of making sure that it's insightful and empowering and not necessarily motivational, I think motivations like and whatever, but, you know, can it get, is there a tool in there? Is there something tangible that someone can take from what I just said? And if there's not, then I need to think about what I'm doing and that's the thing like we're, we're quick. As human beings, I believe this we're kind of just quick to go with our first reaction. We are reactive. And so one of the things I'm trying to be better at is being proactive, even in my own life, my own business. Um, you know, having anticipation of what is to come, I think is really interesting to me right now. And I'm like, how can I anticipate. You know, four moves ahead on a chess board. Hmm.

Okay. So what you're describing is critical

reasoning. Yeah. Well, but I mean, also it's really about having the emotional wherewithal to recognize whether or not you are impacting people negatively, even though you may or may not be right. That's regardless. Are you like, are you negatively impacting people?

Well, that depends now what if they don't like who you are? What do they don't like your

reality? Yeah. Like, I don't care if you don't like me, that's the truth. I don't care. What is it? What does that have to do with me? You not liking me as no, that's your problem. That is not my problem. But in that also, like I am about being of service. Am I being of service? Because if you're a male negatively impacting the people who look to you for guidance, you are not. And that was where I got caught. Just looking at it and going, wait a second. Hold on. Wait, wait, pause. I understand what I'm trying to convey, but they don't. Can you say

that again? Please

say that one more time. Yes. I understand what I'm trying to do. But they don't the people consuming it. So that means that it's misinterpreted, which means it's a miscommunication, which means to the wrong pair of eyes or right. Pair of eyes, like it goes a certain direction. And so I had to take a step back from that. And that's where this whole practical aspect of thinking about it's to look before you leap effectively. Right. And knowing that as a person in a leadership role, and as a person trying to create massive change in the world, like are the words that I'm using. Being used in a way that people are actually understanding that are impactful, impact can be positive and negative. And of course, there's look, there's always going to be people don't like me. I have, I had a person right on, um, Amazon, they destroyed my book. My book has all five-star reviews except this one. And they destroyed it and I go, you know what, that, person's not for me. That's okay. I'm not for them. That's okay. I hope they find who they're supposed to.

I like that. No, that's really good. So let's look at this next coming generation. What is some advice you could give them to start stepping out of their comfort zone? I mean, we had it lucky. For being millennials, we got to experience everything. A lot of people will disagree and say we'd experienced quite a shit ton, but you know what? I'm going to be optimistic about it. But what advice could you give the next generation so that they can be prepared to take on the torch when it's.

Yeah, I think now is the greatest time in human history to be alive. It's like, I know, like I know like there's darkness in the world, but there's always been darkness in the world. That's never gone away that said there's more media and influence on the way we think. Ever before. And so you got understand that there's filter being cast in front of you about the way you should interpret the world, because I'll tell you right now, I've traveled the world. I've lived in multiple countries. I've spoken all over the place. I'm just a kid from the hood who wasn't supposed to make it out. And I know this people are good. People are good. And so there are, there are going to be people that don't. There are going to be people that shame you, people that guilt you, they're going to do what, regardless of whether or not you're living life on your terms. So you might as well live life on your terms. Yes, people don't like me. Okay. And. Right. Stop being it's fear, right? People are caught up in fear. We're so worried about judgment and shame, but look, here's the thing that's fear. And if you don't step through that fear, if you don't face that fear, nothing in your life will be different. Nothing in your life will be different. And you'll always be in this position where you're just like, I guess this is who I am, even though I really want to go over here and be this person like this is not to be crass. The Michael, having this conversation with you right now is a creation. I've built this person from scratch. Fuck. Yeah. Godless of the fact that people don't fucking, like, I liked. That's that's what we

have to view ourselves as when people gave me that look like, I look like an asshole. No, this is the fucking military. I'm a machine I'm ready for anything. Are you, what have you been doing in your downtime?

Yeah, I think at the end of the day, what life is all about, the decisions that we make. And if you choose this is where it gets fucked up and people get. If you choose to be indecisive and nonchalant about your future, you don't get a complainant. I like that. You don't get a complaint. And that is a hard pill to swallow because that means that you have to do something difficult and take responsibility for your life as a there's no Disney moment. Nobody's coming to save you. Nobody cares either. And that's not to be, that's not to be an asshole. I promise it's just the reality of the world. And we sit here waiting for fucking prince or princess charming to come and save us and take us and sweep us away to what's next in our life. They're not coming. You've got to be the hero of your own story. You gotta be willing to face all of the darkness to cross the thresholds and to the unknown, to look at it from this perspective and understanding that at the end of the day, you're going to dump right. Period. That is the worst case scenario. Yes. It doesn't actually get worse than that. Death

is

the end. And I don't know about you, but when I die, I don't to have any fucking regrets. And that's how I try to live my life every day. Be uncomfortable. Do difficult things, challenge the narrative that you have about who it is that you're capable of being like, to an extent, like, I really truly believe that like, you can do anything in your life, but I can't believe in you for you. And if you don't believe in yourself, who will exactly.

Now, when you started to craft this new Michael, the Michael and broken you like how I said that it was, it was very, it was elegant,

was crushed. It.

What was the difficult part when you started to negotiate this character? When you came in contact with people you known in your past, as you were changing your identity.

And that, that is the question, right? Like that's phenomenal. Look, here's the reality. And, and one of my mentors taught me this and it, and it really hits rings. True. Like to get what you want in life. You're going to have to give something up. You're going to have to, and a lot of times it's the. And that's not to say those people don't bring value to you. That's not to say you don't love those people or cherish those people, but you know, if you want to change the world, you're not going to do it at happy. You know what I'm saying? Like, like the truth about it is, you know, I, I just think we remember these pivotal turning points in my life of, you know, I'm, I'm going to go into sobriety. I'm going to go into celibacy. I'm going to stop going to the club on Friday nights. I'm going to stop being party guy, you know, and just watch people dwindle away and just watch. You know, it was, it was a shifting, it was a changing of the tide where even people, dude, my, the people I thought were my best friends, right? My best friends are not those people any longer. Why? Because people are terrified of the idea of change. You break the status quo. When you say this is no longer who I am. And Jay Z has one of my favorite quotes of all time. People around you saying that you changed? Well, I didn't do all this work to stay the same. And that's how I think about it. Every single day. I didn't do all this shit. I didn't go through hell and back to be the person I was eight years ago, 12 years ago, three days ago. Right. Like I, and I want to be different. I want to be evolving. I want to be better. Right. And so those people. And this is a hard reality. Like this is, this is the real hard pill to swallow. Like your mom might be the person in your way right now. And that's true. Yes. And that's true. Right? And, and, and in that truth, you have to come to the understanding that if you want what's on the other side, you're going to have to make a hard decision. You know, one of the hardest things I've ever done and a lot, I'm not preaching from a pulpit here. I lived this. At 14 years old, I put a restraining order on my mother 14. I did that. Fuck. Yes. At 18. I told her I'm never going to talk to you again. And until the day she died, I really only talked to her once or twice a promise you this. I would not be having this conversation with you right now. Had I not made that choice? It is the hardest decision I've ever made in my life. But it had to be done because I watched, I looked at, look, we have the ability it's anticipation. I looked at it and I said, I know exactly what the fuck's up. That boat. I've been down that road before I'm done going down that road and, and it's to this day to day needs. But the, the, the choices, the decisions that change our life are never easy. I've never made an easy decision in my life that changed it in a dramatically powerful way. And at the end of the day, you're going to have to decide. And I'm not saying like, you know, never talk to your mom again like that. There's a lot in that, right. There's a lot in that. But what I am saying is you need to take inventory about the people that you're engaged with that you're spending your time with that you're committing your energy.'cause some of them are not reciped. Most of them are not reciprocating it. And a lot of them secretly want you to fail. Yes. That's all, that's a fucked up thing to hear, but it's true. Yes.

I'll tell you this. This is how you can ensure yourself. You're on the right path. You make that change. You do it from. Maybe three months and you still want to go back to your old self we'll walk down that path. You're going to see the same people doing the same shit, nothing different about them, but you that's when you can come to reality

and if they're happy, great. But if you're not, that's a problem, you know, I know for a certain, I can tell you right now that there are people from my past who they are doing the same thing this weekend that they did 10 years ago. And that's okay. But if you're a complainant, shut the fuck up. You don't get to you. Don't get a complaint and not be willing to do the work. You just don't. Because if you sit around and you complain all day and you're not willing to do the work, you're spinning your hamster on a wheel chat, do something, do something. Hell yeah. Fucking Michael. I

like that. What can you leave our audience with that? I haven't already asked you.

Yeah, man. Look, I think at the end of the day, I'll give you something really practical here, please. People right now, we're always talking about mindset. It is the fucking buzzword of the decade, but nobody tells you what mindset means. So I'm going to tell you what it means. Usable really important. This is everything mindset. Is this what you think becomes what you speak, what you speak, become your actions and your actions become your reality. If you want to create change in your life, you have to change the way you're talking to yourself. If you're saying I'm not good enough, I'm not strong enough. I'm not capable enough. I'm a loser. I saw. You are going to act that way and your life will reflect that. But if you change that narrative into the stope of the frame of what I'm about to give you, and you convince yourself of this until it fucking becomes true, I promise you on a long enough timeline, your life will be everything you ever want. And it starts with this. I am the kind of person who is kind to myself. I am the kind of person who is kind to myself. You're probably thinking of yourself. And this time has been so intense the whole time. Kindness is everything. It's one of my values. Why? Because when you act through the frame of kindness, you act as a kind person. When you think to yourself, I'm the kind of person that was kind to myself. Your action will reflect that because what is a kind person going to do? They're going to challenge themselves. They're going to push themselves. They're going to go and do the hard thing. The uncomfortable thing, the difficult thing to create change. And on a long enough time on their life will be different than it is today. But you're saying shit to yourself right now. But if you said to me, we'd get you punched in the face or arrested, and you're wondering why you're not successful change the way you mindset is this what you think becomes what you speak, what you speak becomes your actions and your actions become your reality. Well, put,

well. So how can our listeners get in touch with you if they want to learn more?

Yeah, absolutely. I'm everywhere on social media at Michael unbroken. Um, and you can listen to the think on broken podcasts, the thinking broker podcast, it's on every single planet. Excellent.

I'll be sure to link all that in the show notes, Michael, I appreciate you coming on the show.

Yeah, it was my pleasure. Thank you for having me. My friend, of course.

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